Ricki's first Lift.

My first lift was a reverse lift. I asked this guy, who seemed a little more open than he was willing to admit, avoiding eye contact after our initial connection, and he said no, he can manage on his own. People don’t want to look needy or helpless in front of strangers! That would be vulnerable… So I asked him to push me up the hill. He accepted and began the lift without even breaking pace. Our conversation was sweet. He accepted a button at the top. He continued on his journey.

There’s so much “I think we’ll manage,” “I think we’re fine,” “I can make it on my own…” The thing about it is, that’s just not the point.

Here’s a one in 1000. I asked a young couple if they wanted a lift. Her face LIT UP. Just like that. Yes. Aaron pushed her and I escorted her gentleman friend, and they leaned right back: fearless, immediate, totally game.

How do I, a stranger on the street, get you to let your guard down? (Wow, that sentence still sounds aggressive. You should have seen my first draft. No wonder people are protective.) How do I create a little tiny universe around myself where you can trust that there’s no strings attached? We’ve taught each other to say no so well, how do we invite each other to say yes?

If I encountered The Lift, would I be a yes or a no? If I were alone, I bet I’d be a no. But if I was with another person -- really probably anyone, my girlfriend, the door guy from work, my mother, anyone – I would be a yes. Because I would want that person I was with to think I’m a yes, even though secretly I’m a no.

As I remember the people I encountered, I think, “I loved that guy who gave me a lift!” And that girl whos face lit up, I loved her! And I loved that woman who said no, so politely, her subtext blaring. (I’m going to be really really nice to you even though I really wish you weren’t talking to me right now.) And that guy with the group looking for Supergirl…well, how could I not love him? And it goes on.

Here’s to yes!

Ricki Mason