Aaron's thoughts from saturday the 6th

It was a very Saturday type of day. Bustle and hustle and some drinking going on. I got a free hug from a stranger before I started, and thus fueled up set to videoing. Unfortunately, my hands got cold, I wasn't capturing things the way I had been the last time I videoed. Maybe, since more was happening I couldn't get simple shots, or maybe I wasn't committing to just one thing, and so never felt like I really captured the essence of a moment.

Regardless, I was happy to pass off the camera and get to LIFTing. Scott was there to bolster my confidence, and I felt how quickly something becomes boring once it becomes known. Its not that I was bored the whole time, certainly not, but a certain mystery and meaning is being drained out of me by the repetition. The stakes feel lower and most of the interactions fall into well catagorized types. Still, I got a girl up on my own. She was a little bit big, and I was proud of her trusting me with her weight. Satisfied by the fleshy, solid feeling of her back pressed into my hands.

After that first lift, things blurred for a while, lost in the shuffle. Then John came along. Like I said last time, I attract the talkers. A bright, joyous drunk Alaskan native veteran, John really gave me his weight, and his stories too. We danced/stumbled up the hill, i even carried him because he wanted to fly. We didn't make it all the way up the hill, and talked for perhaps 20 minutes leaned against a rail 3/4ths of the way up. He had a blue eyebrow from stitches, bad teeth, and a mischevious glint in his eyes. He was proud of his military service even though he had been dropped to the street upon his return, awards and all. I marvelled at his acceptance of that military time as a positive one when it seemed clear to me that it had wrecked his life, but then I realized that it has to be so. TO have your life ruined for something meaningless or even wrong is too painful, too crushing. In order to salvage some positivity, which John definitely has done, he needs to place value on his military service, needs to believe that it did the world some good.

Another thought that came out of my time with John is more directly connected to the project. I really enjoyed hanging with him, but at a certain time felt the need to return to the rest of the lift, and could feel that he didn't want me to go, could feel neediness or awkwardness. Is this how people who are LIFTed feel, exhilerated for a moment, and then distracted by how to get away smoothly? We are such social creatures, fearful of offending even new met strangers. Maybe that is why so many people rush past us, unwilling to engage at all, because once they have engaged even a little bit they feel obligated, once they know our story it is harder to ignore their compassion.

I also had someone push me up the hill, got to feel the awkwardness and difficulty in trusting with my weight. It was nice to see things from both sides, but I think it wasn't a truly reversed experience because I was still directing the interaction even as I was being pushed.

Last quick thought, I can feel our mark as we return to the same spot over time. More and more "locals" are interacting with us, I recognize more people, feel more a part of the landscape. It will be sad to leave that hill to its own devices.
aaron