A Lifter Responds: Aaron Swartzman

Aaron’s 1st lift – Bonnie from Novia Scotia. One of those solid, salt of the earth oldler women whose general attitude is “why not?”. She gave me her weight easily, and looked up at the clouds when I asked her to. I felt some of my old techniques coming back. Also some new knowledge. I think of, Fight, Flight, Freeze, Friendly as ways of dealing with danger/discomfort. How can I move away from friendly (talk their ear off) toward deeper connections?

Aaron’s 2nd lift – Artsy guy from Vancouver. He closed his eyes and I felt comfortable with him. I want to keep pushing the edge in such situations and ride deeper, but it wasn’t clear how to do so. Image is so important. His look was artsy and open, so I wanted more than from Bonnie. We stopped periodically for him to give weight. At the top I turned him around and had him turn around to survey the journey.

Aaron’s 3rd lift – soccer player girl. I experimented with instructing her how to best give me her weight. It’s hard to make it easy for people to be lifted easily. She said it was like meditation. I felt her relax as we went, felt myself sink into a comfort with silence which allowed me to find more interesting things to say. I mentioned how the clouds looked like windblown sand. I ran her up the last leg of the hill.

Aaron’s 4th – another soccer player – gave me her weight and trust. Well, “I begin to feel the ache in my arms.” She closed her eyes and relaxed. I can feel how their athleticism helps their bodies respond to my touch. She asked me why we were doing this. I said that trust is hard to find in this world. She said it felt like massage,. I was happy that it felt at all. We truned at the top to watch her friend take the last few steps calmly and with closed eyes, a vision of beauty and repose amidst the hectic, urban scene. What is the next step when trust is marginally given. How can the project move forward pat that point? Flexing social muscles. Feeling the different relations, social and physical, the layers of trust, the potential for a shifted moment in the day, a genuine connection with a stranger.

5th – Mr. Bear’s Mistress (as she said her name was – assume it had to do with the stuffed bear riding on top of her back pack, face to the sky) turns my theory on its head. She has trouble giving me her weight, but trusts me deeply in telling me the story of how Mr. Bear was given to her by another patient in a mental institution. High social trust – low physical weight sharing (which may have required high levels of physical trust for her). I feel gratitude for her willingness to connect with a stranger, and gratitude to Mr. Bear for being a portal into her story.